THE DATING GUIDE

by Jeffrey Hilton

The Aaronic Priesthood Manuel three, Lesson 31: Choosing an Eternal Companion asks advisors to have the young men name attributes they like in a woman. These are written on the chalkboard and voted on by the young men. The manual gives examples of good attributes such as patience, a testimony, respect, happiness, and being active in church. Keep in mind that this activity was written on the board. As soon as it is erased we all begin to forget what was written on it.

I was at a party a while back and heard a girl say she refuses to date anyone unless they are smart and have already completed their degree. I first looked at her and asked myself, “how close is she to age thirty again?” Then as other girls pitched in their requirements I tried to discover where these requirements had come from. Then I remembered Lesson 31 from when I was a priest. I wondered if the young women manual had a similar lesson. I decided to look it up.

In Lesson 36: Marriage Standards of the Young Women Manual 3 it gives the young women a very similar activity with very important differences.

Activity #1 Give the young women pieces of paper and pencils. Ask them to make a list of characteristics they hope to find in their future marriage partners. Ask the young women to keep the list to be referred to later in the lesson. Remind them that since they will marry those whom they date, this same list should serve as a guide in dating.

Activity #2 Ask the young women to refer once again to the list they made at the beginning of the lesson. Now that they have heard the lesson, ask them to reevaluate their list or add to it. Ask them to save these lists in their journals and refer to them often as guides in their dating relationships and marriage decision.

First off, instead of naming off ideas that are quickly scribbled onto a chalkboard, these characteristics are given careful individual thought by each individual young woman creating a memorable experience for each of them. The young women are told that their piece of paper is no longer a piece of paper, but their own life long dating guide. Finally they are to keep it in their journal and add to it.

Years later you have every young woman checking her list to see if anyone measures up. The Guide is strict, but it must be right because it’s church approved (so what if no one else has seen it). Each year from the time the young woman is sixteen it becomes much harder for anyone to live up to her list.

Part 2

Part 3

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