THE DATING GUIDE PART 2
by Jeffrey Hilton
In part one I discussed lists made by young men and young women naming attributes they should look for in a potential date. As I tried to point out in part one some of these lists ended up including attributes the church didn’t suggest be included. The church suggested we date those who are active in church. It suggests we date those who have a testimony. It mentions patience and happiness, and respect.
If we all based those we date on those qualities we would be able to date a lot more people.
In high school I imagined a lot for myself. I pictured myself going on a mission, then going to school at BYU, living on my own, and having a car and a wonderful job. When I returned from my mission things took a sudden turn from how I had planned them. I found I didn’t qualify for financial aide for BYU or any other school. All I could get was a low paying job and saving for a car meant staying at home longer.
Every date I had would end badly as they realized I didn’t match their list. I was active in church, had a testimony, respected them and acted happy. However when it came to my job, my education, my living arrangements I wasn’t the guy for them.
As more one date wonders and a lack of first dates became more common I began to revise my own list. Maybe it isn’t so important to date members of the church I thought. So eventually I found myself with a girlfriend. The problem was she wasn’t aware of all of my standards. I kept my standards but it was a burden to keep them by myself. Eventually I realized it would never work and broke up with her.
There I was single again unable to date any women who were members of the church because I didn’t match their list and unable to date anyone else because they didn’t match my list.
So to you who have written your dating guides I suggest you revise them. Standards are important to set but if they are set too high no one can reach them. Keep them short and put in them only the most important attributes.
©2008
Part 1
Part 3
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